I now understand one struggle millions of parents face each year. How so?
Every year, millions of parents place their children into sports, music, or other activities. Sometimes it is the child who begs their parents to take part. Just as often, the parents pick the activities because they believe it is good for the kids, or they need an unofficial after school babysitter. The one challenge they all face is deciding where the line is on pushing their child outside their comfort level versus crossing it and making them do something they really do not want to do.
The line between resistance and hating an activity is razor thin. It is a lesson that I’ve learned during this project. I can easily see a reader finding this newsletter and thinking, “What a jerk of a brother,” for making David come with me.
Forcing him was not the intention. Pushing him in a direction that I thought would stretch past his, admittedly enabled, locked in routine was the primary goal. I failed in that endeavor, at least for the moment. It might take more time and work on my part here at home, or maybe I need to do that with a different activity. Only time will tell.
In the meantime, I needed to decide what to do next on my goal. There was only one choice. I would need to get someone to watch over David while I was away. I was not willing to give up on this trip. I had done too much planning, daydreaming, and romanticizing of the travel to just let it go. It is an itch that had to be scratched.
My friends know this. They have heard me talking about this crazy idea of mine for well over a year. I have no doubt that some of them—okay, probably all of them—had a collective opinion of “get on with it already!”
I think it has to be why when I asked—ok offered a bribe—to check in on David while I was away; my friend said yes faster than I expected. The agreement lifted a weight off my chest and left gratitude. While David is far enough along the spectrum to be left alone, it is still a responsibility. In a perfect world, I could leave David at home with no issue if there is food, soda, and working internet. But life happens and an emergency could be a problem if I’m three states away. No amount of compensation diminishes that responsibility.
With a solution for David in hand—one I should have considered more strongly from the beginning—I would take a couple of days to reset my preparations. Watching David would just entail my friend checking on him every few days and taking him to the mall to get him out of the house. David knows how to cook several easy to make meals on his own. I loaded up on those items and gave him some spending money. If he needed more, I could always Cash App my friend some money for David.
Planning Tip: Make sure to try all items you buy from Amazon right away, so you have time to return them if necessary.
The next agenda items were all the gear that I had now that I would not need. I tried and failed, often trying not to think about all the money I could have saved if I had not brought David. Between the price of his bike, its modifications, extra camping gear, and gear for car camping, I estimate I could probably have saved $5,000. There was little to be done about it now, so I just focused on returning items I could. It was a long list, comprising gear that did not work that way I wanted and duplicate gear I had bought for David.
Camping Gear that did not work out
Both my larger tent and gazebo did not work out the way I thought. The gazebo took too long to set up; an issue I could have overlooked if it had screened out the bugs like it was supposed to do. Unfortunately, it did not do that well enough. The large tent was good, but I did not need that either, so I returned both to Academy Sports where I purchased them. Academy’s return policy is flexible and so I recommended using them as a spot to buy your gear.
Related to the tent were items in our sleep system. The nights we slept in the tents were not at all comfortable. The tent was too hot and our sleeping pads not comfortable. The sleeping pads I had gotten were the Klymit Static V. The Klymit has well over four thousand reviews on Amazon, with an average star rating of 4.5. However, I found the pad to be not thick enough.
Besides the pad, our pillows left a lot to be desired. Originally, I wanted to get a Therm-a-Rest compression pillow. Every review I read online or on YouTube listed the Therm-a-rest as the best travel pillow for camping. Unfortunately, the pillow was sold out everywhere. My substitute was a Wise Owl Camping pillow. It was not comfortable in the least.
I replaced the sleeping pad with the Sea to Summit Comfort Lite self-inflating pad and added one of their self-inflating pillows. I hoped this would fix my sleeping system.
Other items that I returned were camping cooking tables, chairs, and various car emergency car items. It was not much, as most of the gear I had bought was way past their return time limits. This is one tidbit of advice I would share. If buying off Amazon, thoroughly test what you buy as soon as you get it. If you dislike the items or are not working the way you need them to, you will then have enough time to return them.
I would also take the time to investigate any gear you need at local camping or extreme sports stores. There is one store locally that if I had gone to, I could have tried out tons of gear in the store before buying.
I’m able to return about a $1,000 dollars’ worth of items and somewhat make up for the wasted money spent on the Car/Bike Combo trip idea. Adjustments made, I repack and it's time to get back on the road.
