I Love America Tour: Day Zero

Grimy Hotel Fail

The beginning of this adventure starts out rather boring. The trip officially starts in Mobile, Alabama. Traveling from Central Florida to Mobile is the first item on the agenda.

I spent most of the drive time in silence; no conversation with my brother, zero radio play of music, podcasts, or political news. It is this last item that would surprise you if you knew personally. I’m a news and political junkie. Deliberately ignoring any news of the day for essentially seven hours straight is out of character. But I love the silence and the endless drone of the car traveling down the Route 10.

One of my objectives is to meet up with a Facebook friend. I’m really looking forward to it, but alas time gets away from me. We started our journey later in the day, than I would have proffered and underestimated how much time refilling the gas tank and stopping at rest stops would take. We get as far as Chipley before I decide to just stop and get a hotel. I do not want to continue and hit my location for Frankie, or Mobile in the dark.

Chipley is a small town off I-10. There is not much to see, and the lodging options are severely limited. I price out the Comfort Inn and the price is 289.99 a night. I blanch at the price. Not only is it excessive, but the cost is way out of line for the quality of the Inn. CI’s are dicey hotels to stay in most times. The quality of the location entirely depends on the owners of the location. Often the owners do not keep the CI’s in tip-top shape. I can tell from the exterior this is the case with the Chipley location. I pass and move on to the Quality Inn.

The price at the QI is better. The accommodations are not. It is a rundown location. David balks immediately. He is used to higher end hotels when we travel, and he is very particular.

I just want a place to rest for the night and do not care. I figure it’s not as bad as camping in a tent with no easy bathroom, which is what we are in store for during the trip. I ignore his protests and leave to find something to eat. Dinner ends up being a grilled chicken sandwich from a Mexican restaurant.

David takes one look at the meal and says, “I thought you said it was grilled chicken.” The comments spur forth from the fact that they cut the chicken up in pieces, like the restaurant started making chicken fajitas, and then changed their mind.

This would be the second signal: the night would be a problem, and a foreshadowing of difficulties between me and brother to come.

As it stands, we both only finish half the sandwich and go to bed—or rather I do. David refuses to take a shower in the bathroom, stating he will not get sick from being in a bad bathroom. He does not even get undressed and lies on the bed fully clothed. I think he is being too dramatic, use the shower, and go to sleep.

Or at least I try to.

I only get a few hours before I wake up. When I do, I feel grimy. It is as if whatever ground in dirt from the floor and chairs has lifted from their surfaces and embedded themselves in my skin. I try to ignore it and go back to sleep. I fail miserably.

I cannot sleep. I feel itchy and dirty—even after showering. I should have listened to David. I look over at him and he is full on awake. It is 130AM, I’ve been asleep for maybe three hours.

Sighing, I ask David, “Do you just want to leave now?”

His answer is a resounding yes. He is ready to leave in under three minutes. No exaggeration.

The lesson here is two-fold. One, if you’re traveling with family or companions it is best that you all agree on where you are staying or at least what level of stars in terms of hotel ratings, you will accept. Understand this goes only in one direction. A person who is fine with two star or three-star accommodations will be perfectly fine in a four-star location. Anyone who is only used to four stars or at least locations with highly cleaned and crisp rooms, will NOT be happy in anything lower rated.

The second is that if you are parents, or in my case a caregiver that makes these decisions on your own, remember what you have gotten the kids or the person you are caring for used to. When we travel, I usually put myself and David into pleasant hotels. I spoiled him to a degree because of me. Just because I’m willing to—or more accurately attempting to rough it, does not mean they will be.

Leaving at 130AM meant of course I could not see my friend Frankie Cee. It also meant we would get to Mobile long before my college buddy Chris Turner would be awake. Once we arrived, I would need to find something to do.